The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
