She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize