Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
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I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
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just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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