just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?