I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo