Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.