I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
