so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize