you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
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Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
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I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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