Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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