Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
he just fucked me for my cheese..
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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