HIV tests are more positive than that guy
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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