I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize