you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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