And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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