I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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