Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?