Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
then he tried to convert me to islam
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?