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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.

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• (408): View more from California

  that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it

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  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

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• (406): View more from Montana

  sick fucks of a feather flock together

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i have an important question...can you drink in jail?

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"

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• (360): View more from Washington

  If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!

  (360): View more from Washington

  A cheater.

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  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.

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• (707): View more from California

  One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I have aggressive nipples.

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• (347): View more from New York

  Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it

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