you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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