so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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