A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize