how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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