Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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