theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Randomize
