So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
