The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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