I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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