ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize