So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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