Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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