Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
