he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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