thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
