Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
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Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
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I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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