You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
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he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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