I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
