thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
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He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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