I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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