You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
