My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams