I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize