and you said cock pushups were impossible
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize