Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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