Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
