if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize