Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
