Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children