i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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