Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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