the condom got lost in my hair
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
