It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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