Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
time to smoke my breakfast
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
