My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?