Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be