how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize